Commander Sarah Hawkins glared at Admiral Vance, her jaw slack and eyes wide. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

This meeting was supposed to be a performance review, she thought. She had even pressed her purple dress uniform for the meeting and smoothed her textured black hair into a polished, professional-looking bun.

Her superior, a Zentaran alien with grayish-green wrinkled skin and large black eyes, jostled the papers in front of him. She could tell he was agitated since the circular spots along his face and hands were glowing an eerie green. “The decision has been made,” he said.

The previous Starship Wonder mission hadn’t been a huge success. Rogue computer code from one of the toilets had taken over the main computer, convincing the starship’s AI that it was an ancient god. The code and toilet had since been removed, and Sarah was ready to take her crew on another mission.

Sarah looked at the only other person in the conference room at the Terminus Conglomeracy Star Fleet Base. Commander Rex Sterling was seated next to the admiral, trying to stifle his laughter. The poster-child for the small space federation and commander for the elite Starship Prime, Rex looked painfully handsome with his chiseled jaw, perfectly styled brown hair, and navy-colored uniform. Good looks and occupational success aside, Sarah could count on her colleague and friend whenever she or her starship were in a bind.

“With all due respect, Admiral,” the Prime commander said, regaining his composure, “the Starship Wonder has barely made her way through an entire mission. Won’t repurposing the vessel as a cruise ship put paying passengers in harm’s way? Surely the Conglomeracy can find a better use for the starship and crew.”

“After all the disasters and damage the Blunder has caused, the hunk of junk should be grounded,” the admiral said, making the Wonder’s nickname sound almost derogatory. “As a cruise vessel, the starship might actually earn some money. The warp drive will be fitted with a governor to limit the maximum speed. That should take care of any safety concerns.”

Sarah lowered her head. The head mechanic, Xylo, would not be happy about that.

“As for the crew,” Vance continued, “you already have a galaxy-renowned chef. The daycare teacher can serve as Camp Director for the youth program. Security is always necessary, so that Kojak fellow and his team will stay.”

Tears came to Sarah’s eyes. She wanted to both laugh and cry at the same time. Her promotion to Commander had been such an honor. A commander on a cruise starship was, in effect, a cruise director. She wouldn’t be able to show her face at the next Conglomeracy Officer holiday party. On top of that, she couldn’t imagine Chef Bluebottle cooking for guests. The old man hadn’t made anything palatable for years.

“Is there any way the Conglomeracy would reconsider?” she asked.

Vance slapped both hands on the conference table and rose to his feet. “The decision has been made. I’ve scheduled the Wonder’s retrofitting for next week.” He shoved his papers into a folder and left the room as Sarah stood and gave him a stiff salute.

“You could go back to being a pilot,” Rex suggested with a bit of a frown.

“I’m not a quitter,” Sarah said as she sank back down into her chair.

He gave her a charming, winning smile. “Well, if anyone would make a fabulous cruise director, it’s you, Sarah. I may have to take my leave aboard the Wonder this year. But for now, how about some drinks? I’ll buy.”

“Drinks?” She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. “Why don’t you just set your taser to vaporize and shoot me in the back?”

“Oh, come on.” He leaned closer and patted her on the shoulder. “It won’t be that bad.”

⭐⭐⭐

Luna Knight was less than pleased to return aboard the problematic starship. She had enjoyed the two glorious months of leave while construction on Starship Wonder was underway. However, embarkation for the passengers had commenced that morning, and Luna and the rest of the crew were now back to their duties. She waited impatiently in the newly renovated children’s area for young guests to arrive.

She looked down at her new uniform with smug satisfaction. As a teacher, she hadn’t worn the military regalia, but now all the crew were required to wear specific dress to mark their positions. Luckily, no one specified what condition the uniforms had to be in.

As soon as she had been issued the violent violet polo shirt and khaki shorts, she had tossed them into a tub of black dye. Both pieces took on the dark hue flawlessly. Paired with fishnets, heavy black makeup, pin-straight black hair, and her colorful tattoos, the boring camp counselor outfit matched her typical gothic vibe. The only thing missing was her spiked choker necklace, but she hadn’t been able to find it.

The daycare center was now called “Kid Kozmos.” Luna detested the new name and the updates. The space no longer functioned as a place for learning. Stacks of books, art supplies, desks, and educational toys had been replaced with flashing lights, playground equipment, a video arcade, and a two-story slide.

She frowned as a family of three aliens approached the kids’ camp. They appeared almost human-like, aside from their blue, gelatinous exteriors. “Welcome to Kid Kozmos, the funnest spot on your Starship Wonder cruise,” she greeted, unable to muster an ounce of enthusiasm for the parents. Crouching down to the eye level of the juvenile sandwiched between the two larger aliens, she added, “You ready to have lots of fun?”

“Look, Scotty!” the mom said, shaking her son’s hand. “They have an arcade.”

Scotty stomped his feet, clearly disappointed. “I only play games on my video pad.”

Luna glanced at the flashing lights of the closest arcade unit. It was one of those games of chance that distributed tickets that could be exchanged for prizes. The whole arcade was essentially gambling made for children. “I also have some bat puppets, and there’s a reading nook.”

“Come on, Mom, let’s go,” Scotty protested.

The mom sighed and tilted her head toward Luna. “We’ll be back,” she promised before leading the family away.

“Let’s check out the pool,” the dad suggested as they walked out of sight.

Luna rolled her eyes. She had thought the camp director position would be easy, but apparently, she had some work cut out for her if she was going to impress the young guests.

⭐⭐⭐

Commander Sarah Hawkins waited at the edge of the pool, angrily breathing in the chlorinated stench of the room. The new swimming fixture was a simple affair: narrow and skinny, only big enough for a few guests to splash around at a time. The rubbery pool deck almost looked like stone but was actually made of recycled plastic. Outer space could be seen through a row of circular windows dotting the far wall. But instead of watching stars lazily travel by, she stared down at the two-meter hole directly in front of her.

“There you are,” she stated as the Wonder head of security pushed through the heavy door into the pool room. The sturdy spring on the door snapped it shut behind him. Sheriff Kojak, as he liked to be called, looked like he belonged in an old-time Western film. He paired the new security uniform of a bright red button-up shirt and black slacks with his usual cowboy hat and boots. The old man was a head shorter than Sarah, but his big personality made up for his diminutive height.

He removed the lollipop stick from his mouth and tossed it in a trash can on his way to Sarah’s side. “Came as quickly as I could,” he said.

“Sheriff Kojak, tell me, why isn’t there any water in the pool?”

The sheriff shrugged. “Safety issue. Someone might drown. Also, entering warp speeds can cause hyper-surge waves, even in small bodies of water. Can’t take that chance. Too dangerous.”

Sarah crossed her arms and sighed. “The speed on the warp drive has been limited. There won’t be any catastrophic waves as long as Xylo doesn’t try to implement any upgrades. You did lock the engine room, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. I added an electronic padlock. Without the code, ain’t no one getting inside.”

She nodded thoughtfully, then said, “A family brought their kid here earlier. The little boy didn’t check before running and jumping into the deep end. He didn’t drown, but he did sprain an ankle and dislocate his shoulder from the fall.”

Kojak removed his cowboy hat and clutched the brim in his hands. “Oops.”

“Oops is right. This pool needs to be refilled.”

“I, uh, that’s not going to be possible. I vented the pool water into space. We don’t have the reserves to fill ‘er back up.”

Sarah conjured all her willpower to refrain from strangling the head of security. “Well, I can’t have more guests falling into a six-foot hole.”

Kojak placed his hat back on. “I’ll go get another padlock,” he said before shuffling away.

⭐⭐⭐

After locking the pool room, Sheriff Kojak returned to the security office and took a seat at his desk. The new area resembled a typical office with gray carpet, white walls, and several desks complete with workstations and swivel chairs. At the desk next to him sat one of the junior officers wearing her red uniform shirt. The slim young woman wore her blond hair in a ponytail, which swung when she turned to greet him. “Good afternoon, Kojak!”

“G’day, Officer Tarise. What are you working on?” He suspected she was looking up the schedule for the next season of Floatball games since she was dating a Floatball star.

“Imputing a report of stolen items from a guest.” Tarise glanced at a small steno pad covered in scrawled notes as she transcribed the information into her workstation.

“A theft! Already?” The sheriff shook his head. “What happened?”

She grabbed her pad and flipped back a few pages before reciting the case details. “At sixteen hundred hours, Madam Bluxtonborg had been getting ready for formal night dinner when she noticed her gold hoop earrings were missing from her jewelry box. Upon further inspection, she realized that her ruby pendant necklace also couldn’t be found. After exhaustively searching her cabin, Madam Bluxtonborg concluded that someone must have stolen—”

“How did her room look?” Kojak interjected.

“Like it had been torn apart. I can add that to my report.” She quickly jotted down the detail before continuing. “Madam Bluxtonborg refused to let me search the cabin, but she did show me her jewelry box.”

“Include an inventory of the jewelry box in your report.”

“I’ve got it all written down.” She flipped to the next page and handed him the steno pad. “I’ve been a security officer on Wonder for over a year now. I know what I’m doing.”

Kojak glanced over the list before handing back the notepad. “You’re right; my apologies. I’ll stop interrupting. Go on.”

Tarise turned to the next page and continued presenting the case. “I also questioned Madam’s travel companion, Monsieur Bluxtonborg. He stated he had witnessed Madam placing the items in question into the box earlier today. He shared a photo of her wearing the earrings and pendant—I’ll include the image in my report. It was taken in the Wonder atrium this morning, so the items must still be on the starship. Once I’ve gotten everything typed up in the report, I wanted to check and see if anyone else is staying in their cabin.”

“I can check the guest manifest while you work on that,” Kojak offered. He logged into his workstation and pulled up the passenger list. “What room were they staying in?”

“Cabin two-thirteen,” she answered.

He checked the list of guests for the room. “Just the two of them. Most likely culprit would be a member of the Wonder crew, perhaps someone on the cleaning staff.” Kojak pulled up the security footage for the hallway outside Madam’s cabin. He scrubbed through, starting at embarkation that morning. At 11:02, he saw the Bluxtonborgs, with Madam wearing the missing jewelry, enter cabin 213. Then at 11:32, the Bluxtonborgs exited their cabin together, this time wearing no jewelry.

He continued scrubbing forward until he saw a slender, shadowy figure in dark clothes slink through the hallway. Kojak knew exactly one crew member with a proclivity for dressing in dark colors. “I’ve got you now! Tarise, stay here and finish up your report. I’ve got a burglar to apprehend.”

⭐⭐⭐

The poor kids dumped by their families at Kid Kosmos clearly had no imagination, and many had expressed wanting to rejoin their parents elsewhere on the starship. After watching them idle for hours, Luna organized an activity to help pass the time. The last thing she wanted was for the kid camp to close. If that happened, she’d likely be reassigned as a bartender or something. Then she’d have to talk to other adults. She shuddered at the thought.

“Who here likes bats?” she asked the group of fifteen human children and young aliens. A few kids shook their heads, and a single boy raised his hand.

“Only Jeremy? No one else? Well, I also like bats. They are really cool animals. Let’s all sit in a circle for a moment.” She gestured for the kids to gather around, and they all quickly complied. “Did you know that bats are the only terrestrial mammal with the ability to fly? They have long finger bones that give their wings structure. Their strong muscles help them flap their wings like this.” She started beating her arms up and down. “Everyone, on your feet! Fly like bats with me.”

Soon, all the youngsters were racing around, waving their arms, and making screeching noises to mimic echolocation.

Sheriff Kojak rolled into Kid Kozmos aboard his single-person vehicle, a black-and-white personal transporter with handlebars, two large wheels, and a flashing blue light. He slowed to a stop and shouted, “What in tarnation is going on in here!”

“We’re all bats!” Jeremy squealed.

“Where’s Miss Luna Knight, your daycare teacher?”

Luna skipped out from behind the big slide and yelled, “Bats, freeze!” All the kids stopped in place, holding their arms up as if suspended mid-flight. “I’m the camp director now, not a daycare teacher, Sheriff. Why are you here?”

Kojak reached into the transporter’s cup holder and removed a pair of shiny metal handcuffs. “Miss Luna Knight, you’re under arrest for unauthorized acquisition of luxury personal ornamentations.” He paused, then added, “Grand theft. You’ll need to come with me.”

Luna sighed. Kojak always came to crazy conclusions when investigating and had detained innocent people before, so the camp director was unfazed. “Kojak, I didn’t steal anything. Besides, I can’t leave the children unattended. I’m responsible for all of them while they’re at Kid Kosmos.”

Kojak shook his head for a moment. “Then I guess the youngsters will have to come with us. Now hold out your hands.”

She glanced at the restraints as he unlatched one of the cuffs. “Are those really necessary?”

He clicked his tongue and said, “I guess not,” before tossing them back in the transporter and stepping on. “Come on, let’s go.” He began rolling away at a pace slow enough for Luna and the group of kids to keep up on foot.

“Bats, take flight,” Luna said, rallying the children. “We’re going to play follow the leader, and Sheriff Kojak in the red shirt is our leader.” As the kids mobbed around the personal transporter, continuing their wild arm flapping and screeching, Luna added to Kojak, “Let’s drop them off at the grand dining hall. All the parents should be there for formal night.”

The sheriff led the way through the halls to the service elevator, which took them directly to the grand dining hall. The mood in the room instantly changed when Kojak, Luna, and the children entered. Unlike Kid Kosmos, which had a rainbow of brightly colored plastic and metal play equipment, the grand dining hall exuded elegance with all-natural materials in neutral tones. White and gray marble tiles covered the floor, light wood panels adorned the wall, and chandeliers dripping with hundreds of glimmering crystals hung from the ceiling. Chairs upholstered in beautiful soft yellow and gold brocade sat at tables covered in cream-and-white tablecloths. Guests wearing suits and fancy dresses turned to identify the sudden commotion.

“We’ve had to close Kid Kozmos temporarily,” Kojak announced in a booming voice. “Guests will be notified once the daycamp activities resume. Thank you.”

Luna added to her charges, “Go find your families, little bats. I’ll get this all sorted out as quickly as I can and will see you again soon.”

Kojak didn’t stick around, so Luna missed the guests’ reactions to the gaggle of children joining what had been an elegant, adults-only evening. She already felt bad for leaving the kids; they were finally starting to have some fun. She hung her head as she followed Kojak to the security office. This will get sorted out quickly, and I’ll be able to rejoin the kids by the time Bluebottle serves dessert, she promised herself.

When they arrived at the security office, Tarise was seated at one of the desks. She paused her work to greet the pair. “Welcome back, Sheriff Kojak. Hi, Luna! I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Luna replied, “I wasn’t expecting to be here either. Apparently, I’m a thief. Although I have no idea what I’ve been accused of stealing.”

Kojak removed his hat and solemnly declared, “Miss Luna Knight, you have been arrested for the theft of Madam Bluxtonborg’s jewelry.”

Tarise shook her head. “That can’t be right. Luna clearly only wears black. Why would she steal gold earrings and a ruby pendant?”

“To sell them,” Kojak answered confidently.

The young officer grabbed a notepad and flipped through the pages. “There was also a diamond ring and a string of pearls in Madam’s jewelry box that were much more valuable than the missing items. A good thief would have taken them too. What did you find on the security footage?”

Kojak walked over to Tarise’s desk as she searched for the correct video stream. “See for yourself. There!” He pointed at her display. “Skip ahead another hour. See! There she is, letting herself into cabin 213!”

“That’s not Luna,” Tarise insisted. “This individual is much taller.”

Luna wanted to see the real jewelry burglar. Maybe she could even figure out who it was. She approached the pair and peered over Tarise’s shoulder. The feed showed a tall, slender alien figure with large black eyes and grayish-blue skin speckled in glowing blue spots, dressed in dark clothing and bathed in shadows, standing in the otherwise empty hallway. The image was a bit blurry, but it was easy for Luna to recognize the Wonder’s head mechanic.

“Oh! That’s Xylo,” Luna said. How the sheriff had gotten the mechanic’s dark gray coveralls confused with her all-black attire was beyond comprehension. “Kojak, are you sure you don’t need glasses?”

“What would Xylo want with Madam Bluxtonborg’s jewelry?” Tarise wondered aloud.

“Probably for one of his crazy devices,” Luna answered. “He’s always using random items to make some gizmo or upgrade for the engines.”

Tarise and Kojak looked at each other. “The engine room!”

“Let’s go before it’s too late,” Tarise said as she jumped up from her chair. Both security personnel booked it to the door, with Kojak taking off on his personal transporter and Tarise jogging behind.

Luna looked around. She was the only one left in the security office. “I guess that means I’m off the hook,” she said. The two security officers could handle whatever schemes Xylo had planned, so she returned to the grand dining hall to let the families know that Kid Kosmos would reopen in the morning.

⭐⭐⭐

Chef Bluebottle and the kitchen staff assembled entrees as quickly as they could, slapping slices of bread on top of perfect circles of deli meat, and then sending the plated sandwiches down the dumbwaiter to the grand dining hall. Instead of retiring, the bald head chef was here, on the worst starship of the fleet, trying to make do with limited resources.

As he laid out six fresh plates for the next round of meals, Commander Hawkins strode into the galley. “I could have simply messaged you through the comms,” Sarah said, placing her fists on her hips, “but I had to see this for myself.”

“Believe me, I’m more upset than you are! This was my chance to regain my glory as a renowned chef!” Bluebottle spat, his gray eyes watering. “Guests are waiting for their food! And what do I have to serve them? Literal bologna!” He dramatically grabbed a huge container full of rotting Terminus stone lobsters and tipped the contents into the chef’s galley trash compactor.

Sarah sighed. “What’s wrong with the freezer?”

“It doesn’t work! The compressor is just gone—missing!” He threw the empty container at the sink, but it bounced out and clattered to the floor.

“Missing? How did that—”

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Bluebottle interrupted. “Xylo was in here, moping about his precious engine room and how he was locked out. I teased him for letting a silly lock get in his way, and now he’s retaliated by stealing my freezer compressor!”

Sarah stiffened. “Oh no! He’s probably making a device to break into the engine room. I’ve got to stop him!” She turned and ran out the door.

The chef kicked the empty container aside and continued assembling bologna sandwiches.

⭐⭐⭐

Xylo sat at the lone worktable left in the engineering bay, using a wrench to tighten a part on the new device he was inventing. Instead of sitting around getting angry about his limited access to the engine room, he had decided to actually do something about it. The spots along his skin glowed bright blue with excitement.

Before the refit, the engineering bay had been huge, taking up almost a third of the second level of the starship. Most of that area had been converted into guest rooms, leaving just the back portion against the rear hull of the ship. The remaining small space housed the engines in the engine room, mechanical supplies in a modest supply closet, and the tiny workroom where he sat now, just big enough to fit one worktable.

After close examination, Xylo had determined that he couldn’t pick the electronic padlock to the engine room, and there was no way to cut through the reinforced Neptunium steel latch. The best option was to overload the circuits inside with an electrical surge from a chilled red laser.

Most of the parts had been easy to come by. The powerful condenser came from the galley freezer. Luna’s choker necklace made the perfect strap to hold everything together. A melted lollipop from Sheriff Kojak’s desk served as a satisfactory substitute for glue. He found a portable power source and plenty of diodes in the supply closet, though none were red.

After checking some of the guests’ rooms, he had acquired the last few necessary parts: a ruby gem to color the light and gold metal to conduct electricity. Pilfering the guest rooms had been surprisingly easy—his key card opened every door, and passengers expected to see mechanics all over the starship.

With the power source finally connected, the chilled red laser blaster was complete. Xylo tested the device by briefly touching the top button, and red sparks flew from the end.

“Perfect!” he exclaimed.

He jumped up from the worktable and turned to the door of the engine room. “Here goes nothing.” He held the new invention up to the padlock, then held down the button. Red sparks flew in every direction, some of them landing on the metal latch of the lock. A second later, the latch began to glow red.

“Come on, come on,” he said. It shouldn’t be taking this long. Crimson zaps of lightning arced from the lock to the door, catching the barrier on fire.

Smoke began to billow through the hallway, followed closely by the blaring of the fire alarm. Xylo couldn’t figure out why the device wasn’t disarming the lock as he expected. However, the latch that fixed the lock against the door melted, and the lock dropped to the floor.

He finally let go of the button. “I knew that would work.” He turned to the supply closet and grabbed a fire extinguisher, which he used to smother the flames on the door. After tossing the extinguisher on the worktable, he used his steel-toed boot to kick in the door of the engine room.

It was a little hard to see what he was doing with all the smoke and red flashing lights, but Xylo was well acquainted with the warp engine at this point. He felt around the exterior of the large metal component. After a moment of searching, his fingers brushed against something unfamiliar: a rectangular computer chip. This must be the governor limiting our speed. He plucked it off, and the familiar jolt of the starship jumping into warp speed immediately assaulted him.

“Got it!”

⭐⭐⭐

The camp director was not impressed by the formal night dinner offerings. Bluebottle had been so excited about making fancy cuisine for appreciative palates—yet he had the wait staff serving bologna sandwiches and gooey shelf-stable peaches straight from a can.

Luna sat with a Soo-sacan alien family at one of the round dining tables. Each one resembled a traditional snowman with three round segments, except they were all covered in pink fur.

“I’m sorry we had to close down Kid Kozmos so suddenly, but I promise little Tammy can come back first thing tomorrow morning,” Luna said to the parents. “Did you have fun learning about animals today, Tammy?” she asked, turning to the smallest furry pink creature.

Tammy seemed too busy gobbling down her meal to notice Luna’s question. “Oh my gosh, this sandwich is so good!” the young alien gushed between bites. “I’ve never eaten anything quite like it!”

Luna rolled her eyes. She could forgive a child for having bad taste, but then she noticed the parents were tearing into their food, too.

“Who knew preserved peaches were so delectable!” the snow-alien mom proclaimed. When Luna glanced around the dining room, all of the guests appeared to be enjoying the dinner spread.

“Tell me, Miss Luna,” the Soo-sacan dad said after demolishing his entire meal, “is this the typical cuisine for starships? I must say, I could eat these unique sandwiches for every meal and die happy!”

“Cuisine? Bluebottle’s dishes are closer to military rations.” She pushed her plate away. “Here, you can have mine.”

The father immediately grabbed the offered sandwich and took a big bite.

Suddenly, red lights began flashing, followed by a groovy disco beat and Donna Summer singing “She Works Hard for the Money.” Luna recognized the starship alarm—Xylo had replaced the traditional alarm sound with music ages ago. Likely, there was a fire somewhere on the vessel. Starship Wonder tended to experience quite a few fires, so Luna wasn’t worried.

However, nothing could have prepared her for the guests’ reaction to the alarm. They seemed entirely unaware of the purpose of the lights and music. To be fair, Kojak had been too busy emptying the pool that morning to hold a safety briefing.

“How delightful!” a human woman exclaimed. “It’s an impromptu dance party.” She grabbed the hand of the man next to her, and the pair began dancing beside their table. Soon, all the guests were on their feet, moving to the music.

An unexpected jolt almost knocked Luna out of her chair. The sudden acceleration shocked the guests. Cries and yells flooded the grand dining hall.

“What’s going on?” the fuzzy pink snow-woman asked.

Luna placed her hands on the table to steady herself. “We just jumped to warp speed.”

The Soo-sacan man shook his head. “But, I thought this was supposed to be a local, system-bound cruise. What’s going on?”

“I have a guess,” Luna responded.

⭐⭐⭐

After leaving the security office, Sheriff Kojak’s transporter suddenly died as he rounded the hall next to the atrium, causing him to come to a screeching halt. Tarise, who wasn’t paying close enough attention while jogging behind him, slammed into him. Both officers and the transporter toppled over, and the blue light mounted on the personal vehicle snapped off and clattered down the hall.

“My little light!” Kojak yelled, scrambling down the hall to fetch the broken part while Tarise lifted the transporter back to its upright position. He returned with the blue beacon—its base now fractured in two. He doubted he could put it back together. “I should have bought one of those magnetic ones that can be placed anywhere,” he mused.

“What happened?” she asked.

He nudged the transporter with his boot. “Power failure. Probably the battery.” He dropped the broken pieces into the cup holder.

The alarm lights started flashing, and Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard for The Money” began to play.

“We’ll leave it behind,” Kojak declared as he and Tarise jogged past the guest rooms toward the engineering bay.

They slowed down as soon as they encountered smoke. Before he could fully assess the situation, the whole ship jolted. He braced a hand against the hallway wall.

“We just entered warp speed,” Tarise observed.

Kojak adjusted his cowboy hat. “We’re too late.”

⭐⭐⭐

First, the empty pool accident. Then, bologna for dinner. Now we’re traveling at warp speed. What else could go wrong? No! I know better than to entertain that question. Commander Sarah Hawkins raced through the guest hallways toward the engine room. She could barely make out the red shirts of two security officers and a white cowboy hat through the thick smoke and flashing lights. “What are you doing?” she shouted. “Get Xylo!”

“I can’t see anything!” a scared, feminine voice replied.

“Kojak, I know you’re there. Get Xylo to put the governor back on the warp drive,” she commanded before turning around.

“Where are you going?” Kojak called back.

“To the bridge!” she yelled. Their newest pilot had been easy to find since a warp-class license hadn’t been a requirement. “Someone experienced needs to fly the starship!”

She ran through the atrium, leaped down the stairs, and raced through the Vista Lounge and Bar to get to the bridge. The pilot, copilot, and navigator, each representing different alien species from various planets, were all yelling at the top of their lungs. The pilot had two tentacles covering their eyes, one on the steering yoke, and three jamming various buttons on the control panel.

“Pilot Bleb, step aside. I’ll take over.”

Bleb immediately slithered off their chair to make room for Sarah. “Commander Hawkins,” the timid alien pleaded, “I have no idea what happened! One moment, I was steering the Wonder around the far side of moon Titan, and the next, stars were flying at us faster than my visual receptors could comprehend.”

Sarah sat in the pilot chair and steadied the steering yoke with her left hand while flipping up the cover over the warp thruster throttle using her right. With a smooth yet quick motion, she pulled the throttle down and then pushed forward on the yoke to slow the starship to a stop. After taking a moment to just breathe, she said, “Navigator, chart a course back to Neptune.”

The navigator made a bubbling sound before saying, “This can’t be right! Our Galaxy Positioning System says we’re almost a Parsec away.”

Sarah rested her head against her hand. “No, that’s right. The warp drive kicked into top speed.”

She pressed the button on her wrist comm and said, “Connect to Sheriff Kojok.”

“Commander,” the chief of security’s voice responded over her comm.

“We need to keep the governor off the warp drive if we expect to return home this century. Can you hold onto it for now?”

“Sure thing, ma’am. I’ve got Xylo in custody, and have the governor chip with me right now. Although I must say, it appears Xylo took measures to disable it.”

“I stomped on it with my boot,” Xylo explained.

“Great.” Sarah made a mental note to order a replacement governor as soon as they returned. She disconnected the communication before giving final instructions to the bridge crew. “Navigator, lock in our course. Co-pilot, keep an eye on the side thrusters. Pilot Bleb, hold tight. Let’s fly this vessel home.”

⭐⭐⭐

Sarah stood on the gangway, politely nodding and saying, “Thanks for coming aboard the Starship Wonder,” to guests as they disembarked at the Terminus Space Port. She could only imagine the sorts of reviews the first batch of passengers would leave after everything they’d been through.

Luna came down the gangway and stopped next to Sarah. “That was all the passengers,” she declared. “All in all, I think that went pretty well. Nothing the Blunder crew couldn’t handle.”

“I like what you did to your uniform,” Sarah remarked. She knew the entire crew hated the official purple military uniforms, so she had given up fighting for the vivid color.

Luna simply nodded in affirmation. “You look like you could use a drink.”

“Several,” Sarah said with a laugh. What she could have really used at that moment was a vacation.

Before she could entertain the idea of sitting on a beach with a tropical drink, both women’s comms buzzed with incoming orders:

“Starship Wonder crew, reset your vessel to prepare for passengers boarding in twenty-four hours.”